New Life
by Giantpanda
Summary: Takes place about five months after Against All Odds. Shannon’s past relationships have left her insecure, which may end up affecting her current relationship with Sayid. What will it take for her to realize that it might just be ok?
1. Bored

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Takes place about five months after _Against All Odds._ Shannon's past relationships have left her insecure, which may end up affecting her current relationship with Sayid. What will it take for her to realize that it might just be ok?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Chapter One – Bored

Shannon was lying on her towel on the beach. About an hour ago it had seemed like a good idea to let Sayid go off to be helpful and for her to just relax, but now she was bored. She sighed; she guessed that being on an island for six months would make sunbathing less fun. She had really only said that she was going to sunbathe because she needed some time to herself to think and she knew that Sayid would give her whatever she needed.

It was still hard for her to believe that she had been with Sayid for five months; she had never really been with anyone that long and still be happy. Every morning she woke up in Sayid's arms and was so thankful that she was so lucky to have him. He was always there when she needed him; it was unnerving at times how he knew exactly what she needed. Like the one time she had an asthma attack while out with Kate picking fruit. Sayid had come out of nowhere it seemed and held her until her breathing returned to normal, rubbing her medicine gently across her chest. She didn't know how he it did it, but she was glad that he was always there.

Shannon had moved in with him after fighting with her brother and while it had been difficult at first getting used to sharing such a small space, they adapted fairly quickly. At first they spent a lot of time talking, sharing things they normally wouldn't have shared and they got to know each other even better. Then they had begun to talk less and kiss more. Almost every night they would have a make-out session. If she closed her eyes she could feel his hands and lips against her body. She sighed again, as great as those sessions were they still had not had sex yet.

At first she had thought that Sayid wanted to make sure she was ready, completely ready, then she thought maybe he was still grieving over Nadia and he wasn't ready, and now she didn't know what she is supposed to think. It had been driving her crazy that all she could think about sometimes was sex. Boone's words about her only being good for sex always haunted her at those times. If what he said was true, why didn't Sayid want her? She was beginning to think that maybe he didn't find her attractive, but his eyes and hands told her otherwise. She wasn't used to these feelings of uncertainty.

She decided that she was tired of thinking about these things and was tired of lying on the beach; she was so bored. She decided then that she was going to find Sayid and make him entertain her for a while.

He wasn't too hard to find, he was sitting in the caves working over something with Jack. She sat down beside Sayid, who looked over and smiled at her. When Jack walked away to get some more materials, Sayid leaned over and kissed her.

"How was the beach?"

She frowned, "I'm bored."

He laughed quietly, "And what would you like me to do about your boredom?"

Take me out to the woods, rip my clothes off and take me right there, she thought to herself, as she blushed. Out loud, she said, "I don't know. Maybe I'll go pick some fruit or something."

"You should not go out there alone," he said as he started to put his materials away. He called out to Jack and said he would be back later.

"You don't have to come with me," she said as she took his hand.

He kissed the top of her head, "I do not want anything to happen to you."

They walked quietly for a while deeper into the jungle; Shannon pretended to look for fruit while she thought about her earlier wish. Finally she pulled Sayid towards a tree.

"Climb with me."

He looked at her curiously, but still said he would. She went first, making sure that she found the correct branches. She didn't go that high, just enough to see more of the island. She watched as he gracefully climbed up to join her.

He looked out at the island from their new viewpoint, then turned to her, "I did not know you liked to climb trees."

She shrugged, "It was the easiest way to make myself disappear," she said, and knew that she didn't have to elaborate for him.

He leaned towards her and captured her lips with his; she wrapped her arms around his neck, surprised that they could balance so well while sitting in a tree. At that thought, she burst out laughing against his mouth.

Sayid pulled away, "I do not believe my kisses have ever prompted that reaction before," he said, his eyes searching for answers.

She forced herself to stop laughing. "I'm sorry, I just thought of this song from when I was little, that other kids used to sing to drive others crazy, when they saw two people together in elementary school. It went like this, Shannon and Sayid sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Shannon with the baby carriage," she sang softly.

Shannon could tell that Sayid was thinking about the song.

He swept a piece of hair out of her eyes; his fingers lingering longer than was necessary. "I believe that the first part has already happened."

Her voice quiet, she asked him, "What about the other two?"

She didn't know why she asked, maybe because of her earlier thoughts, maybe then she could get a glimpse into what he was thinking. He knew her so well and she still wasn't as good at reading him.

He smiled at her, "Is that your way of asking me to marry you?"

That had not been the answer that she had expected or wanted. What if she said yes and then he said no or if she said no and he had wanted the answer to be yes? Why would he even want to marry her? She couldn't deal with that question. Even with the love she saw in his eyes, she was too freaked out, too confused, and too overwhelmed. Shannon did the only thing she could; she climbed down the tree and quickly ran away, without saying a word.

TBC…


	2. Haunted

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Takes place about five months after _Against All Odds._ Shannon's past relationships have left her insecure, which may end up affecting her current relationship with Sayid. What will it take for her to realize that it might just be ok?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Thanks for all of the great reviews. Mrstater, I thought it fit at the time and I couldn't think of anything else to make Shannon run off, very important to set up the rest of the story. Not sure how serious Sayid was, but it worked. Thanks so much, Shanters2005, I had some more ideas after that one finished so I thought I'd write it all out. I hope that you continue to enjoy it. PITAchic, thanks, I think she should have said yes too, who wouldn't if they were with Sayid? That's a good idea about having Sayid do it, we'll just have to see if it fits anywhere. SayidRocks, thank you! I like that line too, maybe eventually I'll actually write it happening instead of her just thinking about it. Thanks, JuliansGIrl, it may take a while, but it will be finished eventually. There are many more chapters to go, if I keep with the outline I have. Thanks again every one for reading.

Chapter Two – Haunted 

Shannon ran further into the jungle, needing to get away from Sayid and his question. She knew she was overreacting, but still she needed to get away. Her heart was pounding and her breath was labored. Finally she stopped to support herself against a tree, breathing deeply the way Sayid would have made her if he had been standing there.

She slid down the tree and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around her legs. Why did she have to be so screwed up? She hated the fact that she had just left Sayid in a tree because she couldn't deal. It would be funny, if it weren't so pathetic. They had gotten far in their relationship, or she thought they had, but still doubts haunted her. At times like these she wished that she could erase those memories that made her. If she could just forget all those mistakes, all those destructive relationships, then maybe being with Sayid would be easier.

The worst part was the fact that Sayid still stayed by her, even when she freaked out like this. Of course this wasn't the first time it had happened. She smiled slightly as she thought of that time, about two weeks into their relationship when she had freaked out. Sayid had followed her asking what was wrong, which had ended up making her feel worse. After that, Sayid knew that she would find him when she was ready.

But this time she knew that it would take longer to work everything out in her messed up head. Sayid didn't understand everything that she had gone through. She had told him all about her childhood and every horrible detail, and he had held her while she had cried, but since he hadn't been there, he didn't realize the extent of the scars. She thought that maybe her problem was the fact that she had tried so desperately to ignore them, to ignore the nagging voices that told her she was worthless, useless, and unlovable. Maybe instead she should have fought back, but she knew that she couldn't, she didn't have the weapons. It's hard to fight against what feels like the truth.

Those words, worthless, useless, and unlovable echoed in her mind and she flashbacked to when she had first heard them. Other words were there too: dumb blonde, stupid, bitch, whore, and the list went on and on. She remembered every time someone said that to her, the words burned in her brain and on her heart. It was as if they were tattooed there and while Sayid was trying to remove them, he couldn't get every last trace.

But Sayid was still trying. Every day he would do something that would make her feel special and loved by him, but then those voices were back, telling her that she didn't deserve it, didn't deserve him. She remembered the night she had actually told Sayid that, when the words had slipped out unintentionally. The look of shock in his eyes startled her; she had thought he would have thought the same thing before. She didn't contribute as much as some of the other members of the island, she wasn't strong or brave, or anything and she was dating, if you could call it that, one of the leaders of the camp. It didn't make sense to her. What did he see in her?

She remembered how he had pulled her roughly to him as if he could squeeze those thoughts out of her if he held her close enough. He had said something in Arabic then, it had sounded so beautiful that she didn't ask him to translate; his tone told her that it was something special. She just wished that all these thoughts had left her at that time.

She closed her eyes as she leaned against the tree. She was so tired of feeling like this. She wanted to see herself as Sayid did, she wanted to let go of all her baggage, but she was scared. It had been a part of her for so long and she didn't even know who she was anymore underneath it all. Well, that wasn't completely true, there were moments when she was alone with Sayid where those thoughts disappeared and she felt alive again.

She sighed deeply, what a mess. A part of her told her to go to Sayid, tell him all of these jumbled thoughts, another part told her to keep going as it was, and a third part said break it off, go have sex with someone else on the island and prove to him that everything she had told him was true. She knew that she couldn't have sex with someone else on the island; she wouldn't break his heart like that. But the way things were going now, she couldn't keep up pretending that she wasn't confused, Sayid deserved better.

All her past relationships had ingrained in her that she wasn't worth staying with and it was so hard to shake that away. You live with something long enough and it becomes part of you.

She knew that she needed find Sayid; it wasn't fair that she was trying to decide their future without giving him a chance to understand what was going on. She knew that talking to him would be difficult but it was what she needed to do.

TBC…


	3. Not Coming Home Tonight

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Takes place about five months after _Against All Odds._ Shannon's past relationships have left her insecure, which may end up affecting her current relationship with Sayid. What will it take for her to realize that it might just be ok?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Thanks everyone for such wonderful reviews, you guys are the greatest. Mrstater, its fun to write the angsty stuff, I think it will have to go on for a few more chapters, actually I know it will since the story is all planned out. Quistis, thank you for such a nice review. I don't plan on making Shannon slutty again, maybe in a future story. One chapter a day is my plan. Thanks, artistgirl727 I had a mental image of them kissing in a tree and remembered that song and had to add it in there. PITAchic, originally I was going to have Shannon leave to find Sayid to break up with him, but I didn't like that idea. SayidRocks, a self-fulfilling prophecy is exactly what has happened. Hopefully she will eventually start to see herself as Sayid does. Thanks again everyone!

Chapter Three – Not Coming Home Tonight 

Slowly Shannon walked back to the beach, this was not a conversation she was looking forward to having. She was afraid that Sayid would finally realize what a nutcase she was and he would find someone else to share his tent with.

As she walked through the caves, she noticed people standing around whispering, which was unusual. Her first thought, was who died. Then her heart constricted as she realized that it was actually possible that someone had. She saw Sawyer standing off alone and she walked over to him.

"What's going on?"

"Hey, Sticks," he said, "Locke's disappeared."

Her eyes widened, "Really?" she paused, "What about Boone?"

"He went with your boyfriend to help find him a few hours ago," he started to say something else, but once he saw Kate he walked away.

She laughed softly as she thought about Boone and Sayid in the jungle together. She could picture the look of annoyance etched on Sayid's face. But then she realized that he said a few hours ago, she looked as the sun started to dip down below the horizon, she hadn't realized that she had been out there for so long. They shouldn't stay out that late with the mysteries of the jungle.

Shannon had to figure out what she wanted to do, if she wanted to wait for him at the caves or return to their tent. Looking around at everyone whispering she noticed that she didn't really know these people that well and figured that Sayid would be tired when he returned. Grabbing some fruit she made her way home.

Pulling back the tarp she was surprised to find a flower sitting on the pillow. She smiled as she picked it up, Sayid must have known that he could be gone for a while and wanted her to know that he was thinking of her. She brought it up to her nose and inhaled the fresh sent. She wished she could bottle it and wear it everyday.

She noticed that he had taken some of his things with him, more than he normally did when he went out into the jungle. She wondered then if there was something else that Sawyer hadn't told her. She yawned; she didn't have the energy to think about that now. Her own journey out into the jungle had exhausted her and she was ready to go to sleep. Her talk with Sayid would need to wait until morning.

She lay down on their bed and closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would claim her quickly. She turned over and realized how big the tent felt without him next to her. She then realized that this was the first time she hadn't slept with him beside her in months.

She turned onto her back; she was unable to fall asleep now. It was strange how she had grown so used to having him there that now she couldn't even sleep without him. She tried to pretend that he was there, his arm heavy against her waist, his breath tickling her face as the rise and fall of his chest lured her to sleep. She groaned; that just made her miss him more.

She wasn't used on depending on someone else like that. Before she would have been able to sleep anywhere, but now after having known what it felt like to be beside him, she couldn't. Sayid had a way of making her feel safe even when they weren't. She wondered then if it mattered that she was so screwed up, she didn't know what she would do without him.

Even as she thought about being dependent on him for safety, she realized that since being on this island she had been more independent then ever. Before Boone would have done everything for her or she would have found someone else to do what she needed like she had with Charlie. Sayid helped only when she asked, unless it was a dangerous situation, then he simply acted on instinct.

She shivered suddenly as if a cold wind had come out of nowhere. The tarp was closed and it didn't seem to be that windy out. She moved to pull out one of Sayid's shirts and held it close to her, hoping it would take away the sudden chill that resided in her heart.

Shannon was suddenly filled with a sense of dread. Tears filled her eyes as she thought that Sayid might not be coming home to her. She knew it was crazy, but she couldn't stop the thoughts.

With that in mind, she finally drifted off to sleep. She tossed and turned all night, dreams of Sayid dying haunting her. She never let go of his shirt.

TBC…


	4. Needing You

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Takes place about five months after _Against All Odds._ Shannon's past relationships have left her insecure, which may end up affecting her current relationship with Sayid. What will it take for her to realize that it might just be ok?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Thanks, mrstater, I thought Sayid would do something just to let her know that he cares, not as good as last nights fireside surprise, but I'm living in my own world for a few more chapters. Slowly, Shannon is beginning to learn. Thanks, JuliansGirl, cliffhangers are fun to write, although I admit that I hate reading them. I hope that you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter Four – Needing You 

After a restless sleep, Shannon woke up more exhausted then when she had fallen asleep the previous night. She noticed that the tarp was still down and there was no evidence that Sayid had been back. She hoped that he had returned and stayed in the caves, afraid that he would have woken her up when he returned. She hugged his shirt tightly to her chest on last time, before she got dressed to head to the caves.

When she got there, she noticed Jack looking out into the jungle. Her heart sank as she looked around and didn't see Sayid.

Taking a deep breath, she walked up to Jack, "Hey, is Sayid back?"

He shook his head no, his eyes filled with worry. "I'm sure he's fine," he added, "I'm just surprised they aren't back yet."

Shannon tried to smile, "Guess going with Boone slowed him down."

Jack offered her an encouraging smile, "Probably right."

"If you see him first…"

"I'll send him your way."

"Thanks," she said softly as she made her way to the quiet section of the caves.

She curled herself up into a ball, not taking her eyes off of the woods. She couldn't help but think that if she hadn't run off, they would have stayed in the jungle a little longer and then everyone else would have went out searching for Locke without him. She felt guilty for thinking like that, Sayid knew how to handle himself, he had been a solider, but still she worried. Selfishly, she wanted him to be with her only.

She thought about heading out herself to look for him, but that was only a great plan if she wanted to be killed. She was fairly certain that she would be able to find her way out there, but she had no tracking skills and would probably end up food for the island monster.

As soon as Sayid returned she was going to have him teach her how to track things in the jungle so that she would be better able to fend for herself out there. Well, as she thought about it, that really wasn't going to be the first thing she did. First she planned to jump into his arms and hold onto him tightly and maybe she would add a kiss in there as well, before dragging him back to their tent.

Sounded like the perfect plan, she thought, the only problem was that he still wasn't back. Shannon couldn't shake the feeling that had settled in her stomach since the previous night. Something had happened to him.

The more she had that thought the more her own doubts about her relationship with Sayid slipped away. She would still talk to him and share why she had ran away from him, but right then those reasons didn't matter. She didn't care if she wasn't good enough for him anymore. She didn't know how she would survive without him.

She closed her eyes for a second, to think about the future. She hoped they would be rescued; she wanted to show Sayid her home, the beaches and the malls, everything that she had told him about. She wanted to watch television with him, showing him some of the shows that she had referenced in conversation that he hadn't understood. She also wanted to share different foods with him. Especially chocolate, she wanted it to melt in his mouth and then she would kiss him, giving a whole new meaning to Hershey kisses. She wanted to know what it felt like to sleep next to him in an actual bed. There were just so many things she wanted to do with him, she realized, and in that moment something clicked in her mind.

Sayid knew how screwed up she was yet he stayed with her. There were other women on the island that he could have easily chosen to spend his time with, but he picked her. She still didn't understand it, but she knew that she should just wait and see what happened. For the first time, she felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had been putting way too much thought into all of this, she was so hung up on her past that she was ready to throw away her chance at a perfect future. She smiled as she was finally ready to move completely forward, no more looking back.

Shannon decided then that she was going to go find Jack to see if he would go into the jungle with her to find Sayid, if he wouldn't then she would ask Sawyer or anyone who would go with her.

As she stood up, she heard Boone's voice. She grinned as she realized that meant that Sayid was there too. She rushed over to where his voice was coming from, ready to tell Sayid what she had been thinking when she ran away and what she was thinking now.

She froze in her tracks when she got closer. Boone appeared exhausted, his arms wrapped around Sayid's waist, supporting him. Shannon then noticed that his normally white tank top was red.

TBC…


	5. Broken Inside

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Takes place about five months after _Against All Odds._ Shannon's past relationships have left her insecure, which may end up affecting her current relationship with Sayid. What will it take for her to realize that it might just be ok?

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Thank you everyone, I appreciate all of your comments.

Author's Note: I just wanted to say that I planned this story out and started writing these chapters before Wednesday's episode. Just wanted to give a little warning, you'll understand after you read.

Chapter Five – Broken Inside 

Shannon stood there in shock as everything around her moved in slow motion. She watched as Boone placed Sayid on the ground, yelling for Jack. She saw the look of horror pass on Jack's face, before he became the doctor once again.

Her breath caught in her throat as she saw that Sayid wasn't moving. She started to move forward towards him, she needed to touch him to see that he was going to be ok. She needed to see his chest rising and falling and she wanted to hold his hand so that he knew that she was there for him.

Jack had ripped open Sayid's shirt and Shannon cried out at the angry wound on his stomach. She kept inching forward, trying to work her way next to him. Suddenly she felt strong arms around her, holding her back. She started kicking and yelling, telling them to get off her.

"Come on Shannon," Sawyer, said softly in her ear, "You got to let Jack do his thing." He carried her further away from Sayid. "This crying isn't going to help."

She hadn't even realized that she was crying until Sawyer said that. She stopped thrashing then as the severity of the situation hit her. If Sawyer was helping Jack, it had to be bad. She watched silently as Jack called out orders to people to help him.

Shannon looked over at Boone and stalked over to him, "What the hell did you do?" she asked him, her voice dripping with venom.

He looked up at her surprised by her accusation. All she saw was his clothing stained with Sayid's blood; she ignored the exhaustion in his eyes. "I didn't do anything, Shan."

She slapped him across the face. She didn't believe him. All the horrible things he had ever said to her came crashing back, mixed with her fear. She hit him again and she started yelling at him, and then went back to hitting him. She started pounding on his chest, screaming at him to tell her what he did. Finally Boone had enough and grabbed her wrists.

"I didn't do anything to him, Shannon." When he felt that she calmed down, he let go of her, "Why would I have brought him to Jack if I hurt him?"

She knew he was right and she looked away embarrassed for her earlier actions, "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Shannie," he said, using his childhood nickname for her, "I wouldn't do that to you. I know he makes you happy."

It was the first time that he had admitted that to her. She wondered what they had talked about in the jungle together.

She smiled at him sadly, "He does." She looked back over where Jack was still working, "What happened Boonie?"

"Ugh, don't call me that."

"Then don't call me Shannie," she said, smiling for real now, it seemed as if they were starting to get back to the way it was before, before his mother had turned them against each other, before she had slept with him. Her smile faded as she heard Jack yelling for more blankets.

"It happened so fast, Shan," he said, she noticed that he seemed pretty shaken up, "I was walking in front of him while we were searching for Locke, and out of nowhere this person came up. Sayid stepped in front of me, Shan, he took the knife for me. I don't know why, its not like I've given him any reason to."

"He did it for me," she whispered, knowing that Sayid would have known what losing her brother would have done to her, even if she pretty much only complained about him. Sadly, he hadn't realized that losing him would break her even more.

Boone reached out and took her hand, "He'll be ok. He won't leave you."

She wanted to believe him, wanted so desperately to believe that Sayid would be ok, but she wasn't that naive. They were on an island with no medical equipment, how much could Jack really do.

Jack came over to them then, his eyes disheartened, "I stitched up his wound as best I could. I don't know the extent of the damage done internally without more tests. We're just going to have to wait and see what happens," he paused, "I'm sorry," he whispered as he walked away.

Shannon's tears came again as Boone tried to comfort her. He wasn't successful because all she wanted was Sayid.

TBC…


	6. Stay with Me

RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: Takes place about five months after _Against All Odds._ Shannon's past relationships have left her insecure, which may end up affecting her current relationship with Sayid. What will it take for her to realize that it might just be ok?  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Thank you everyone, I appreciate all of your comments.

Author's Note: I just wanted to say that I planned this story out and started writing these chapters before Wednesday's episode. Just wanted to give a little warning, you'll understand after you read.

Chapter Six – Stay with Me 

Shannon had stood with Boone until she was able to get a hold of her tears. She didn't want to be crying all over Sayid, especially when his fingers weren't wiping away the tears. She told Boone to get some sleep as she crept over to Sayid.

She didn't touch him at first, just examined him closely. She watched the rise and fall of his chest, grateful to see that he was still breathing. She noticed the sweat on his forehead, causing his hair to stick to his face.

Tentatively, she reached out her hand to move his hair away from his face. She then moved her hand gently across the rest of his face, brushing them against his lips. There was no reaction.

Shannon then leaned forward to kiss him, hoping that like Sleeping Beauty he would wake up. Still there was nothing.

She picked up his hand and pulled it to her face as if he was the one caressing her, as he had many nights in their tent. She then wrapped both her hands around his and held it against her heart. Tears slide down her face as she noticed that was still no change.

"Why?" she whispered, "Why did you step in front of Boone? I need you too, Sayid." She paused as she brought his hand to her lips and kissed each finger twice. "This new life that I'm trying to build, that I want to build, Sayid, it's meaningless without you in it."

Shannon started to think about all the doubts that she had just had the day before, and in fact had still lingered when she had woken up. Sitting next to Sayid at the moment, they all vanished, every last trace of them. She knew that they could come back, but right then that didn't matter. Her fears and her insecurities they didn't matter. All that mattered was that the man lying next to her could die.

She closed her eyes tightly as if it would erase that last thought. He wouldn't die; he wouldn't leave her. How many times had he held her after a nightmare and told her just that? She wished now that he would do the same thing again, wrap his arms around her, hold her tight and tell her he was there and it would be ok.

She reached out again and caressed his face. She couldn't help but think that even in that moment, he looked so incredibly handsome. She tried to pretend that she was just watching him sleep, something that she rarely got to do because he always woke up first. Jack interrupted her fantasy. She didn't move from her spot, afraid to let go of his hand.

Jack was done quickly, saying that the wound looked as it should, even if it was sewn with a needle and thread, and if there was no internal damage that Sayid should wake up soon. She hoped that he was right.

Shannon decided then that she wanted to lie next to Sayid, as she couldn't the night before. Gently, afraid of causing any more damage, she laid down next to him, wrapping his arm around her and resting her head against him. She could almost pretend that it was just another day lounging together on the beach, but only this time his hands weren't rubbing her arms or back and his lips weren't resting on her hair.

She thought of singing to him, but didn't have the energy. It was exhausting to see him lay there like that, the fears that kept coming and going. He would wake up, maybe he wouldn't, battled back and forth and she knew that she needed to be strong for him, but wasn't he her strength?

Shannon reached out and rested her hand against his heart, closing her eyes to let the rhythm comfort her. His heartbeat was steady and already she felt better.

She thought back to all the movies that she had watched and all the soap operas, where the loving wife or girlfriend would sit crying beside her lover's bedside begging them to wake up. She thought before that it was way too sappy for her and she had always laughed that nothing like that happened in real life, but now knowing that Sayid was unconscious next to her, she decided that maybe it was worth giving it a try.

"Sayid, I'm sorry," she whispered softly, "I'm sorry I ran away earlier. I just…I felt…" she paused, stumbling over the words, "I was afraid of you realizing how much better you could do. I thought that you would leave me," she laughed bitterly, "And now you might. Sayid, everyone in my life seems to go away, seems to throw me away, I thought maybe I could do it to you first."

Shannon sat up now so that she could watch him as she talked. Once again she brought his hand up to her face, trying to take comfort in his touch. She wiped away some tears before continuing.

"I got back to the tent, back to our home," she corrected, "And when you weren't there, I missed you so much," she reached out to play with his hair, "Thank you for the flower, it was so beautiful. I would have rather you been sitting there." She took a deep breath, "Sayid, I don't want to be afraid anymore, I want to be able to get rid of all these stupid doubts and worries, but I can't do that if you leave me. Please don't leave me," she sobbed, as she rested her head against his chest. "I love you, Sayid. I want us to be together, no more fears, no more questions, no more running away."

She didn't know what else she could say to him, she wanted to yell 'wake up now', but she knew that wouldn't be very effective. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She kissed him again, gently, before she rested her head on his chest again.

Mumbling into his chest, she whispered, "I want my life to be with you, Sayid."

"Me too," came the weak response.

TBC…


	7. Never Say Goodbye

RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: Takes place about five months after _Against All Odds._ Shannon's past relationships have left her insecure, which may end up affecting her current relationship with Sayid. What will it take for her to realize that it might just be ok?  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Thank you everyone, I appreciate all of your comments. There will only be one more chapter after this one!

Author's Note: I just wanted to say that I planned this story out and started writing these chapters before Wednesday's episode. Just wanted to give a little warning, you'll understand after you read.

**Chapter Seven – Never Say Goodbye**

Shannon stayed against Sayid's chest, afraid that she had imagined a response. When she felt his fingers running through her hair she knew that he was awake, or else she was dreaming. She really hoped that he was awake.

Slowly she lifted her head, she smiled when she saw Sayid looking at her. She gently ran her fingers across his face. Her eyes burned with tears of happiness.

Still she had to ask, "Am I dreaming?

Sayid, shook his head no, "I am all right, Shannon," he said, but she could hear the pain and tiredness lacing his words.

She bit her lip, "I'm going to go find Jack," she said as she stood up quickly.

"Shannon," Sayid said, as he grabbed a hold of her hand, "Please stay here."

She bent forward to kiss him gently, "I will be right back, I'm going to get Jack and get you some water."

She quickly left his side, cursing herself for breaking her promise that she wouldn't run from him again. She tried to tell herself that Jack needed to see that he was ok, but in reality she knew she just needed a few minutes to calm all the swirling emotions in her mind.

Shannon found Jack quickly and sent him over to Sayid while she got some fresh water. It took only a few minutes, which was all she needed to tell herself that Sayid was really awake and it wasn't some cruel trick that would end with him leaving her.

When she went back to where Sayid was, she saw that he was having a serious conversation with Jack. She came up next to them and rested her hand on his shoulder; they had both stopped talking when she arrived.

"I'm going to leave you two alone, come and find me if you need anything. Get some rest Sayid." Jack said, as he left.

Shannon watched as Jack left before turning to look at Sayid, "What were you two talking about? Was it the person who hurt you?"

Sayid attempted to sit up and Shannon winced when she saw the pain flash through his eyes. She sat down beside him and uncapped the water bottle and held it up to his lips so he would drink. After she felt like he had enough, she pulled it away.

"I can do that myself, Shannon," he said, a small smile on his lips.

"Jack said to rest."

"That does not mean that I can not drink water myself."

She sighed, frustrated, "Sayid, let me take care of you."

He reached out and brushed a strand of hair off her face, "Are you okay?" he asked.

She mimicked his actions, allowing her fingers to play with his hair, "I should be asking you that."

"I already answered that. I am fine. I have had much worse than this."

She examined him closely, trying to see if he was lying to her. When she was satisfied that he really was ok, she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, holding him as close to her as she could without causing him any pain.

She hadn't meant to cry again, but being in his arms, with him caressing her back and whispering in her ear that it was ok was too much. This was what she had been hoping for while he was unconscious.

Once she stopped crying she pulled away, just a little, leaving her arms around his neck, "I'm so glad you're awake." She rested her forehead against his, "I thought you were going to leave me."

"It would take more than this for me to abandon you," he said softly, "Is Boone all right?"

"Yes, he's sleeping, which is what you should be doing."

"I would much rather look at you."

She blushed as she looked away from him. He always knew exactly what to say to make her feel special.

"Thank you for the flower," she said, knowing that she needed to tell him some of her thoughts since she had left him in the jungle the previous day.

"You are welcome, I thought you would like it and I did not want you to think that I left without thinking about you."

"I have a request the next time you want to leave something on my pillow."

He frowned, "I do not think I will be able to find you another pair of shoes or magazine that you have not previous read, Shannon."

She laughed, "Next time, I want to find you there, not a flower. Or if you do want to give me a flower, then you have to be holding it."

"But then I can not go out in the jungle."

"Exactly, that's the plan." She took his hand and placed it against her heart, "I don't want you going out there anymore."

"I can make no promises that I will not need to go out there again," he said, "There happens to be a beautiful tree that is perfect for climbing that I think we will have to visit and maybe you will sing to me again."

"Once you're healed," she said, smiling. She knew then that it wasn't necessary for her to tell him everything that she had been thinking, he already knew. Maybe he really had heard her while he was unconscious.

He lay back down, and she could see that he wasn't feeling as great as he was pretending. She could see the pain flash though his face every time he tried to move too much. Once he looked as if he was comfortable, she laid down next to him.

"Get some sleep, Sayid," she said, "I'm going to be right here if you need me."

"I hope that you will sleep as well," he said, wrapping his arm around her waist as best he could without jarring his wounded side.

"I will." She felt better already being in his arms. She started to close her eyes when she realized that she forgot to tell him something. Shannon sat up, just a little so that she could look him in the eyes, "I love you, Sayid."

He smiled at her, the smile that caused butterflies, "I love you too, Shannon."

She laid her head back down and closed her eyes. She fell asleep quickly. This time her dreams were much different, Sayid was still injured in them, but she was able to be his nurse. She hoped that she would be able to act on those fantasies while he was recuperating.

TBC…


	8. Sweetest Sin

RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: Takes place about five months after _Against All Odds._ Shannon's past relationships have left her insecure, which may end up affecting her current relationship with Sayid. What will it take for her to realize that it might just be ok?  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters from Lost and am not making a profit. If they were mine, then there would be more Shayid moments.

Thank you everyone, I appreciate all of your comments and support through this story. Thanks to mrstater for all her encouragement, which helped to get this done!

Chapter Eight – Sweetest Sin

It had been two and a half weeks since Sayid had been stabbed and Shannon was busy setting up a picnic surprise to celebrate the fact that he was pretty much healed. She had come to this spot immediately after talking with Jack to see if Sayid was doing as well as he said he was.

Her conversation with Jack played again in her mind and she blushed as she thought of the reason why she asked him if Sayid was really ok. Her plan was to seduce Sayid after they had finished eating and she wanted to make sure that it wouldn't reopen the wound or something. She had tried to be subtle but since Jack did not understand what she was getting at, she had to come right out and say it. He had looked just as embarrassed as her as he fumbled over his words telling her that Sayid would be fine.

She was completely absorbed in making the picnic perfect. She had her doubts that Sayid was actually seducible, but as she thought about it more she realized that he was a guy, which meant he was genetically programmed to be seducible. She realized that Sayid wasn't like any other guy she had ever dated so she might have to change a few of her techniques.

Shannon was busy making sure that everything was in its place on the blanket when an arm came around her waist. Startled, she screamed.

She turned around to find Sayid standing there, looking amused by her reaction. She hit him lightly on the arm, "Don't do that." She allowed him to pull her to him and she rested her head against his chest. She stayed there until her heart stopped racing. Pulling away, she said, "You've ruined the surprise."

"I apologize, Shannon," he kissed her forehead, "I was concerned when you did not return from the caves, so I came to look for you."

She shrugged, "I forgive you," she said as she took his hand and pulled him down to sit with her.

She handed him some fruit and took some for herself, but she wasn't hungry. She felt nervous, which was not something she was used to feeling when she was with Sayid. She had planned on having some more time to herself to figure out her entire plan, but now he was there and it all seemed to be thrown out the window.

"What is bothering you?"

She looked up at him and saw the concern in his eyes. Sheepishly, she looked away, "I had a plan to seduce you after dinner."

She couldn't believe that she had actually told him that. What happened to the Shannon who used to be able to lie at the drop of a hat? She took the chance to look up at Sayid to see what he was thinking. She could see the surprise clearly on his face. She smiled, he probably wasn't used to someone saying that to him.

Sayid reached out for her and took her hand. Gently he pulled her towards him. She went willingly, making sure that she didn't land in their dinner.

"You did not need to go through all of this trouble," he said softly as he cupped her face with his hands, "I believe I told you long ago that I would do whatever you asked of me."

She leaned against him, grateful that he hadn't laughed at her. While she had worked through a lot of her demons since he had been stabbed, there was still a tiny part of her that thought he found her nothing more than a joke.

Then, Shannon realized that Sayid wanted this seduction as much as she did. She turned ever so slightly to capture his lips with her own. She could still taste the fruit juices on his lips.

Sayid moved slightly so that he could pull her down on top of him, maneuvering so that he did not lay in their fruit but wasn't in the sand either. Shannon made sure that she was propping herself up so that she was not lying on top of his stomach. Despite the assurances from Jack, she was still worried.

Sayid's gaze traveled down to her hands, and he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her down closer to him.

"Sayid, careful."

"Shannon, I told you that I am fine."

She leaned forward kissing him again, but in the back of her mind the voice told her that she was in fact hurting him.

"Are you sure I'm not hurting you?" she asked.

His eyes shinning with desire, he swept her hair out of her face, "Shannon, are you sure you are ready?"

"It was my idea," she said softly, as she tried to think about his question.

"I want to be with you," he said as he brushed his lips against hers, "We can do whatever you want, Shannon."

She lay down next to him, resting her head on his chest as he rubbed her back. She tried to remember if something like this had ever happened to her before. Had anyone ever put her feelings first like this before? She couldn't think of a time when she had been uneasy that someone had willingly stepped back as Sayid had. She had seen the desire in his eyes; she knew that he wanted her, but he had still stopped.

She didn't know where the doubts had come from, like she had told him, this had been her idea. Then it hit her why she had these feelings. She had never had sex with someone that she loved before. It had always been a game or for a false sense of comfort. But this would be different.

She looked at Sayid. His eyes were closed and she knew that he was enjoying simply spending time with her.

"I love you," she whispered in his ear.

"Ana Behibek," he responded softly.

"What?" she asked, unsure of what he had said, even though it sounded beautiful.

"It means I love you."

She smiled. There were no reasons for her to have any of these doubts, she realized. She wanted this. She was ready for them to take the next step.

She sat up and starting kissing him again. She wasn't afraid anymore of hurting him.

He pulled away, "Are you sure, Shannon?"

"More sure than I've ever been of anything."

She returned to kissing him. As his hands reached underneath her shirt, she realized that she felt safer than she ever had in her life. She knew that she was protected in his arms.

With Sayid nothing else mattered and she hoped that she would be able to spend forever with him, on the island or not, it didn't matter as long as he was with her.

The End


End file.
